Baseball anything but joke to Gardenhire

By David Dorsey
Fort Myers News Press

Exploding golf balls, a shocking cell phone, an orange prison jumpsuit and even something called a "Fart Machine" are the trademarks of Minnesota Twins manager Ron Gardenhire, a notorious practical joker.

"You have to watch yourself around him," said Carol Gardenhire, his wife of 25 years.

That's because Ron Gardenhire, 47, has a penchant for playing jokes on just about everyone he knows.

Veterans, rookies, family members, bowling buddies and, yes, even sports writers, have fallen victim, one way or another, to a prank since the Twins named Gardenhire their manager three years ago.

"I think he knows when the time is right," Carol Gardenhire said of the jokes. "He doesn't jeopardize his job by playing jokes."

All joking aside, Ron Gardenhire has forged a reputation for winning during his first three years as manager.

The Twins have won the American League Central Division title in each of those years, compiling a combined record of 276-209.

"As a manager, I've been fortunate," Gardenhire said. "Losing, that's no fun. I don't like that part of it."

He does, however, like to have fun.

Gardenhire's desk inside the Lee County Sports Complex features a fake can of foreign beer on it. When unassuming visitors — usually out-of-town sports writers — pick it up out of curiosity, they are shocked — literally — with a jolt of electricity.

"The latest one he has is a little cell phone that shocks you," Carol Gardenhire said. "He does another one out at the golf course.

"He has these exploding golf balls. He usually works it like a contest, like, 'I bet you can't hit this over the water.' It blows up in a big puff of smoke when you hit it."

The pranks work both ways.

Two years ago, Twins designated hitter Matthew LeCroy jammed his wrist during a game and had to have it X-rayed.

"The X-ray was fine, but I got the nurse to give me a bad one that had a broken wrist on it," said LeCroy, who then took the fake X-ray to Gardenhire.

"I told him the truth after he started cussin'," LeCroy said.

Gardenhire retaliated recently.

Before a team meeting, Gardenhire hid the small, remote-control speaker — it's actually called a "Fart Machine" — in LeCroy's clubhouse locker.

In an attempt to maintain his innocence, Gardenhire gave the remote control to third-base coach Al Newman, who pushed the button in the middle of the meeting.

The fart noise, of course, emanated from directly behind LeCroy.

"Excuse you, Matty," Gardenhire said, as the players and coaches burst out in laughter.

"I like to instigate it, then stand back and watch it evolve," Gardenhire said.

Like two years ago, when former Twins first baseman David Ortiz made his first visit as an opposing player — he's now with the Boston Red Sox — to the Lee County Sports Complex.

Gardenhire arranged to have all of Ortiz's street clothes hidden, replacing them with an orange prison jumpsuit.

"That was one of my favorites," Gardenhire said.

He said he always has had fun around baseball, and he knew for a long time that he would be a coach.

"We're in Tidewater in '83 or '81," Gardenhire said of himself and current Twins pitching coach Rick Anderson, who played in the New York Mets' minor-league system. "I told a reporter, 'Someday I'm going to be a manager in the big leagues, and Rick Anderson is going to be my pitching coach.'

"It's a true story. I still have the article. I knew I'd be a coach someday after I was a player. I just thought it would be at the high school level."

When he's not managing the Twins or spending time with his family — he has two daughters, Tiffany, 19, and Tara, 14, and a son, Toby, 22, who plays baseball at the University of Illinois — Gardenhire bowls.

Gardenhire sometimes bowls at Gator Lanes in Fort Myers during spring training. Last year, he rolled his first and so far only perfect score of 300. Last month, he rolled a 192-279-257 at a tournament in St. Paul, Minn.

"Our team was in second place when I left," Gardenhire said. "We had a very good series."

Now Gardenhire only hopes that his baseball team can reach the World Series.

"We have the same goal, to win our division and get back to the playoffs," Gardenhire said. "If you can get into the playoffs, then you have a chance to win."

Ron Gardenhire file

College: The University of Texas, where he set a school record with 10 RBI in a game March 5, 1978. Led the Longhorns to fourth place in the College World Series. Also played at Paris (Texas) Junior College.

Pro: Drafted in the sixth round by the New York Mets in the 1979 free-agent draft. Had career major-league totals of four home runs, 49 RBI and 13 stolen bases in 285 games, while hitting .252. He just missed making the big-league Mets in 1986, the year they won the World Series. Traded to the Twins in 1987, his final season as a player.

Coaching: Named manager of Class A Kenosha, Wis., by the Twins in 1988. Became a major-league third-base coach under manager Tom Kelly in 1990. Also served as a bench coach and first-base coach before getting his first big-league managing job after Kelly retired in 2002.

Three questions

1. DH or no DH: "It doesn't bother me that they have the DH because it extends careers. It gives players a chance to play longer. I just wish they would do it the same in both leagues."

2. If I wasn't manager, I'd be: "I would have been in the military, no doubt. My dad was a drill sergeant in the Army. He loved it, and I thought it was the greatest thing in the world. I always knew I'd be in uniform. It just happens to be a baseball uniform."

3. If I could be one baseball player, I'd be: "Wow. I might have to go with somebody like Willie Mays, but in today's world. If I could be Willie Mays in today's world, I might own a baseball team before my career was over."